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[Intro]
You fuckin' groupie!
Pick up the goddamn phone!
[Verse 1]
Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday?
With who you say?
I wasn't at the studio, bitch, what'd you do? Screw Dre?
You went there lookin' for me? Boo, that excuse is too lame
Keep playin' me, you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg
You fake, lyin' slut, you never told me you knew Drake
And Lupe? You want to lose two legs?
You tryin' to flip this on me?
If I spent more time with you, you say
"Okay, yeah, and I'm coo-coo, eh?", well, screw you
And I'll be the third person who screwed you today
Oh, fourth—Dre, Drake, Lupe—oohm, touché
You were too two-faced for me
Thought you was my number one true-blue ace, but you ain't
And I can't see you when you make that wittle boo-boo face
'Cause I'm hanging up this phone, boo
You make my fuckin' Bluetooth ache
You're feeling blue? Too late; go smurf yourself!
You make me wanna smurf and puke blue Kool Aid
Here's what you say to someone you hate
[Hook]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit
Just be a lot easier if you dropped dead?
I would feel so much better
[Verse 2]
Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink
Hop on the freeway tryna get some time alone and just think
'Til the cops pulled me over
But they let me go, 'cause I told 'em I'm only drivin' drunk
'Cause that bitch drove me to drink
I'm back on my fuck hoes, with a whole new hatred for blondes
But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby, come on!
Excuse the pun, but bitch is such a broad statement, and I'm
Channelin' my anger through every single station that's on
'Cause a woman broke my he-art
I say he-art 'cause she ripped it in two pa-arts
And threw it in the garbage; who do you think you a-are?
Bitch, guess it's time for me to get the dust off
And pick myself up off the carpet
But I'll never say the L-word again
I Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo… Lesbian! Aaahhh!
I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest
My life'd be so much better if you just—
[Hook]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit
Just be a lot easier if you dropped dead?
I would feel so much better
[Bridge]
'Cause you told me
You'd love me forever
Bitch, that was a lie
Now I never wanted someone
To die so bad in my fuckin' life
But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea
[Verse 3]
And I'ma have a whale of a time, bein' a single sailor
For the night, bitch, on a scale of
One to ten, shit, I must be the Holy Grail of
Catches, ho, I got an Oscar
Attached to my fuckin' name (De La)
I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor-
Made for me, say fuck it
Kick some shots back, get hammered, and nail her
These bitches tryin' to get attached, but they're failin'
To latch onto the tail of
My bumper, they're scratchin' at the back of my trailer
Like I'm itchin' to get hitched
Yeah, I'm rich as a bitch
But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch
Bitch, you complain when you listen to this
But you still throw yourself at me: that's what I call pitchin' a bitch
That's why I'm swingin' at this chicks on-site
Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike
So all that love shit is null and void, bitch, I'm a droid
I avoid Cupid, stupid! Wasn't for blow jobs, you'd be unemployed
Oye-yoy-yoy, man-oh-man, your boy-boy-boy's
Gettin' sick of these girls-girls-girls, oink-oink-oink
You fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
She's all 99 of 'em, I need a machine gun
I'll take 'em all out, I hope you hear this song
And go into a cardiac arrest, have a heart attack and just
Drop dead, and I'ma throw a fuckin' party after this, 'cause yes
[Hook]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit
Just be a lot easier if you dropped dead?
I would feel so much better
[Outro]
I'm just playin', bitch
You know I love you
You fuckin' groupie!
Pick up the goddamn phone!
[Verse 1]
Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday?
With who you say?
I wasn't at the studio, bitch, what'd you do? Screw Dre?
You went there lookin' for me? Boo, that excuse is too lame
Keep playin' me, you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg
You fake, lyin' slut, you never told me you knew Drake
And Lupe? You want to lose two legs?
You tryin' to flip this on me?
If I spent more time with you, you say
"Okay, yeah, and I'm coo-coo, eh?", well, screw you
And I'll be the third person who screwed you today
Oh, fourth—Dre, Drake, Lupe—oohm, touché
You were too two-faced for me
Thought you was my number one true-blue ace, but you ain't
And I can't see you when you make that wittle boo-boo face
'Cause I'm hanging up this phone, boo
You make my fuckin' Bluetooth ache
You're feeling blue? Too late; go smurf yourself!
You make me wanna smurf and puke blue Kool Aid
Here's what you say to someone you hate
[Hook]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit
Just be a lot easier if you dropped dead?
I would feel so much better
[Verse 2]
Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink
Hop on the freeway tryna get some time alone and just think
'Til the cops pulled me over
But they let me go, 'cause I told 'em I'm only drivin' drunk
'Cause that bitch drove me to drink
I'm back on my fuck hoes, with a whole new hatred for blondes
But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby, come on!
Excuse the pun, but bitch is such a broad statement, and I'm
Channelin' my anger through every single station that's on
'Cause a woman broke my he-art
I say he-art 'cause she ripped it in two pa-arts
And threw it in the garbage; who do you think you a-are?
Bitch, guess it's time for me to get the dust off
And pick myself up off the carpet
But I'll never say the L-word again
I Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo… Lesbian! Aaahhh!
I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest
My life'd be so much better if you just—
[Hook]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit
Just be a lot easier if you dropped dead?
I would feel so much better
[Bridge]
'Cause you told me
You'd love me forever
Bitch, that was a lie
Now I never wanted someone
To die so bad in my fuckin' life
But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea
[Verse 3]
And I'ma have a whale of a time, bein' a single sailor
For the night, bitch, on a scale of
One to ten, shit, I must be the Holy Grail of
Catches, ho, I got an Oscar
Attached to my fuckin' name (De La)
I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor-
Made for me, say fuck it
Kick some shots back, get hammered, and nail her
These bitches tryin' to get attached, but they're failin'
To latch onto the tail of
My bumper, they're scratchin' at the back of my trailer
Like I'm itchin' to get hitched
Yeah, I'm rich as a bitch
But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch
Bitch, you complain when you listen to this
But you still throw yourself at me: that's what I call pitchin' a bitch
That's why I'm swingin' at this chicks on-site
Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike
So all that love shit is null and void, bitch, I'm a droid
I avoid Cupid, stupid! Wasn't for blow jobs, you'd be unemployed
Oye-yoy-yoy, man-oh-man, your boy-boy-boy's
Gettin' sick of these girls-girls-girls, oink-oink-oink
You fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
She's all 99 of 'em, I need a machine gun
I'll take 'em all out, I hope you hear this song
And go into a cardiac arrest, have a heart attack and just
Drop dead, and I'ma throw a fuckin' party after this, 'cause yes
[Hook]
My life would be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was layin' in bed last night, thinkin'
And this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit
Just be a lot easier if you dropped dead?
I would feel so much better
[Outro]
I'm just playin', bitch
You know I love you